Dating in Miami: The Lost Art of Wooing

By Tori O’Neill:

Miami is a beautiful city, full of beautiful people.  One would think, as beautiful and intelligent women of Miami, our day planners should be jam packed with engagements.  However, many of us, including myself, are finding this isn’t the case.  In my personal experience, being a 25 year old graduate student, meeting men is never a problem.  Whenever I go to a bar or club or restaurant I am approached by someone.  Half of the time (or maybe more than half) they are twice my age, wearing wedding bands (yes, they don’t even bother to take them off), or otherwise undesirable.

However, once in a while, a man will come along who is handsome enough, funny, charming, and seemingly, a gentlemen.  After obliging a request for my phone number, I normally would expect a call within at least a few days.  However, what I have been finding lately is that I do not get a phone call; I get a text.  And usually this text comes around 10:00 pm, a week or so later, requesting that I meet the “gentleman” at a nearby bar.

I can’t speak for all women out there, but I find this unacceptable, and do not bother responding.  It isn’t because I am a brat, or follow certain old fashioned “rules” of dating.  It is because I deserve to be more than an afterthought.  Whether it is a conscious choice in the mind of a man or not, sending a text to a woman after already being out is a clear sign that there wasn’t something better around.  If they can’t put in at least a little effort, it isn’t worth our time.

What happened to an actual phone call, and making dates in advance?  What is the cause of this phenomenon?  Are men of Miami getting lazy?  Or have we as women lowered our expectations to this point?  Has traditional dating etiquette flown out the window?  Is it just part of the natural evolution of dating, and I am simply behind the times?  Whatever the reason may be, I refuse to lower my expectations of men; People will rise to what is expected of them, or lack thereof. This isn’t just a personal problem for me; all of my single girlfriends in Miami share my experiences.  So, I propose to the single women out there, raise your standards; and to all of the men, step your game up.

To all of the single women of other cities, New York, L.A., San Diego, Nashville, Chicago, are you experiencing similar problems?  I’d love to hear some of your thoughts!

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