By Maria Caso: My mother used to say “ wait till you have a child and then you will know!” As a teenager, I thought she was crazy and a nag; always wanting to know what I was doing, never allowing me go anywhere alone, questioning my friends and acquaintances, so bottom line she was a drag. Well well, how time has changed, l have turned into my mother.
My lovely teenage daughter sees me as I saw Rita, my mom and we have arrived at that time when kids challenge their parents constantly. Two weeks ago the new boy band, One Direction was appearing at Radio City Music Hall. I had been hearing about this English band from all the young teenage girls that go to school with my daughter Havana for some time now and they were finally appearing in the states. And of course, they all wanted to go.
It happens her friend Sarah’s mom has ticket connections and so 3rd row tickets are bought and Havana is invited but there is one catch, the kids are going alone. Oh boy oh boy oh boy…. here we go. I say no and the struggle begins. As a coach, I am able to separate the feelings from the reality but in this case l was struggling. So many feelings, so many emotions and so many old memories of my struggles with my own mother that one evening I got down on my knees and asked my deceased parent for forgiveness. Can you imagine? I asked her what she would do and I got a response. If you raised her right, trust her and all will be fine. WOW!
I caved in elegantly, spoke about trust and responsibility and the fact that she is a great person no matter what and that evening went without a hitch. Sarah’s mom picked them up and dropped them off. Mission accomplished and I kept an open relationship with my daughter.
We are the mirrors of our parents as I am that to my daughter, I am also open to the fact of the job l am doing in raising her and what is emerging is the letting go part to clear the way for her to blossom into a spectacular adult……just like I do for my coaching clients.
Maria Caso / Life coach/ Single Mom in Manhattan