What is ultimately best for our children?

“Do you feel like you are doing a good job as a parent?”
This is part of a sponsored collaboration with Minute Maid and DiMe Media. Minute Maid will provide this prize. Minute Maid is not a sponsor, administrator or connected in any other way with the contest – and all opinions are my own. ~ Disclaimer

I have been blessed with a great son who has never got into any trouble, and besides sometimes being an annoying teenager, he really is a pleasure to be around. He is witty, funny, very social and likes to help others with his intelligence and tenacity. I know he will go very far in life.

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His Dad and I were divorced about 10 years ago when my son was 8 years old and he lived with me because I naturally thought he would always be better off living with me as his mother. One day when my son was 15 years old he looked straight into my eyes and said “You don’t know how I feel Mom, you are not a guy, you are a woman and you don’t understand me.” Wow, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I could provide for him, give him a good education, give him attention and all my love, but there was one thing I could not be for him, be a man. So, I called his Dad who lives on the other end of Florida, crying and asked him to please move to Miami so our son could have us both near him. That didn’t go over very well to say the least, but then he said to me “I think it’s time you let our son come live with me for a while, he needs to learn to be a man with a man”.

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At that time my son was being disrespectful and would say hurtful things, and I know the mouth speaks from the heart, so I got it that he was hurting and I know he missed having his father around which was heart breaking to me. You know how our heart breaks if our children suffer! So I agreed to let him go live with his Dad for a year, but then he got into sports and met new friends and continued doing well in school. I so badly wanted him to come back to live with me, but was that the best thing for my son? He was expected to take responsibility for his words and actions, and so he did. He was nicer and more respectful toward me and he was acting more respectful toward others as well. Now he is a senior in high school, and I can’t believe time has gone by so quickly. My son is a young man “Hecho y derecho como decimos en Puerto Rico” who is getting ready to go to college so he can be a great asset to society.

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One side of me feels that I have missed out on getting that good morning kiss from my son before he went to school every day and the afternoon hug when I saw him again, preparing dinner for him and us having dinner together every night and of course the good night kiss. And sometimes I feel guilty that I let him go live with his Dad instead of keeping him with me. But on the other hand this was such a good move for my son and his Dad, they got the opportunity to bond even more, my son knows his father loves him and that he wants the best for him and I know that his Dad has been a good role model for him. They say there is a price to pay for everything and that there are things that are worth it and things that are not. My sons well-being has been worth every tear and heart ache I have felt. I am very proud of my son and feel I am a blessed woman to have such a wonderful son.

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I hope that my story will encourage others that might be facing a similar situation, and realize that even when things don’t turn out the way we wished for, we are still doin’ good by making the best with what we have and making decisions that will ultimately be best for our children, and that is our ultimate goal.

Do you know of a mom who’s doing a great job but is very hard on herself and doesn’t think she is doing a good job, but you see how her children are and you think she actually doing a really good job as a mom? Post a shout out/short story about her in the comment section below to let her know that she’s doing a better job as a parent than she may realize. With the comment you’ll have a chance to win an awesome Minute Maid prize pack, which includes a $50 Visa gift. Use the gift card to continue “Doin’ Good” with your kids (or give it to someone you think could use it to keep Doin Good with her/his family).

Linda Ponder

Author: Linda Ponder

Proud Mom, Bilingual Blogger, Influencer, Founder @ponderela . Social Good is my passion mentoring children. Singing is one of my fun hobbies and passions!